Amy Christensen

I have no rhyme or reason to my picks. I decided that I would make my list of 52 + and then review the list and go with my intuition. Last week I could not quit thinking about Amy Christensen Malan, my birthday twin, and the first friend I ever lost.

I met Amy in Jr. High when she moved just down the road from me in a quaint yellow house. I don't remember how we became friends or what drew us together, but I do remember being so excited that we were friends. There was something about her that was intuitive and deep. I sensed that she knew more about life then the rest of us, and that knowledge somehow made her wise; I wanted some of that wisdom. I don't know if she wanted me around or what she thought of me,  but I wanted to be around her. So...I did all those awkward things a gal does when she wants to make a new friend; calling, clinging during school/church, etc., and trying to be super fun and cool. Dating and making a new friend seem to be synonymous for me. 

Early in our friendship we learned we were birthday twins. I believed that we were meant to be friends. This was not the first nor the last time that I experience that feeling of knowing another's soul and feeling connected before you really know one another. I call it a soul-mate, but not in the traditional sense of romance and together foreverness. Sometimes I meet someone and I feel that I NEED to include in my life. I had not met anyone that shared a birthday with me and I still have not met anyone else that I share a birthday with; maybe this was the premise that I felt Amy to be a soul-mate, but more likely that is just how my twelve year old self could process that feeling. Truly though, I have not had a birthday when I don't wonder how my dear old friend is doing.

Once I finally bugged her enough to hang out with me, one of the things that Amy taught me was how to make delish scrambled eggs. I vividly remember being in her room. She asked me if I wanted the best scrambled eggs ever and I said sure. She got out the eggs, a bowl, and a pan, and I asked her what made them the best scrambled eggs. She answered that she couldn't tell me it was a secret. She continued to put the eggs in the bowl and then she went to the refrigerator and took out the milk. I remember this big smile grew across her face. I said is that the secret ingredient, but she just kept smiling; reluctantly she shook her head. They were delightful eggs. I went home and practiced making scrambled eggs until I could make them as delicious as Amy's. This lesson in eggs must have stuck because my nephews always tell me that I make the best eggs. This may seem like a silly anecdote, but learning to make fabulous eggs made me want to make fabulous food which is something I love to do. I love to feed people! And... this is one of experiences in my life that triggered that love.

Another "fingerprint" Amy left on my soul was my love for doing hair, in particular curly hair. Some of my fondest memories of Jr. High are of Amy and I spending hours dressing up, doing crazy hair and makeup, listening to Madonna and taking pictures. I remember Amy sitting on the floor of her bedroom in front of her full length mirror with the biggest Caboodle available twisting her curls around her fingers. When I was doing hair full time a majority of my clientele were women with curly hair. I think I owe my understanding of this type of hair to Amy because I would watch her hair and how it would react. I love her awesome curly hair!
     
I feel like this post should go on, but unfortunately our close friendship did not last. Her's was the first time I experienced losing a friendship and the sadness that comes with that. We all have those friends that later in life you feel sad that they are no longer a part of your life and you wonder how your life would have been enriched by knowing and learning from them. I look on Facebook and Pinterest and Instagram and I think of course we were friends. Who we were all those years ago resonates with who we are today. I do not know specifically what happened, but I'm guessing that our friendship was lost to one of those things that this blog is meant to fight against. Like: jealousy, competition, and/or insecurity among us women. I go back to what Sarah Silverman said in her interview that inspired me. There is NOT just one slot to be filled. This includes friendship, jobs, etc. I am saddened by the friendship I missed out on with Amy. In the end, though, relationships are one of the few things that we can take with us, so my hope is that this doesn't just stop with my thoughts of regret or even of endearment, and that I cultivate a new friendship with Amy where I can be uplifted by the things she learns and the fingerprints that are left on her soul.