Erin O'Brien

Erin O'Brien, my anchor, she keeps me grounded to the past, present and future because she understands where I am coming from, who I am, and supports where I am going; not because she agrees with everything, but because she is loyal.

I met Erin when we were both LDS missionaries in Upstate New York. I was being transferred to a new area unexpectedly and three "Sisters" (that is what women missionaries are called) came to pick me up at a meeting place including my "companion" (the woman I would be living and proselyting  with) and two other "sisters" from a nearby area. We all, of course, were exchanging our obligatory inquisitions: What is your name?, How long have you been a missionary?, Where are you from?, etc. When I said I was from Rexburg, Idaho, Erin perked up and began to play the "Do you know?" game because she lived in Rexburg for a few years as a middle school-er. I always find it interesting that you can know similar people and live in a small town like Rexburg, but never cross paths with someone... until you do 2000 miles away. I believe this was not just happenstance; I believe we needed others' fingerprints to recognize the likeness in each other; I believe we needed to meet under those particular circumstances because of a spiritual connection we share. We found that we knew some of the same people and immediately I felt endeared to her easy going nature, and I thought she had to be the most naturally beautiful person I had ever seen. I did not have the good fortune to have Erin as my "companion," but we became fast friends and continued to cultivate our friendship after we came from our missions and resided in Rexburg. As I am writing this a quote by C.S. Lewis keeps coming to mind, “In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.” 

Going along with that, there are three women in my life that there is, I swear, a magnetic field and somehow we keep ending up living in the same city; Erin is one of them. To boot... she is one of those friends, that some of you have talked about, that no matter how much time has gone by you can just pick up where you left off. When she moved to Boise after having spent several years out of contact, I felt like "Hey there, old friend." We did not miss a beat. We fell back into our easy stride of solving the worlds problems, philosophizing about religion, and trying to make light of the world around us. Erin is sarcastic, quick witted, and funny. So... even though our conversations are sometimes heavy and deep, Erin has a way of never letting you leave feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. I always leave her presence feeling like I have had the most delightful time. Not only is she funny, but she is also kind and generous. She would randomly bring me my favorite chocolate from Sees candy to the salon just because she was going to be around. I felt loved and cared for. She has a knack for that! I'm sure that is one reason why she has such awesome children.
  

I think Erin would say that she is attracted to creative souls. I think, though, that creativity and originality come from people simply being truthful and authentic. Erin's ability to make those around her feel completely comfortable and allowing them to be their authentic selves actually facilitates creative souls without even realizing it. She has allowed me to fail without judgment and always gives me hope to try again. If you know Erin I am sure you have experienced her loyalty and her 100% advocacy of whatever creative project you may be working on.

Erin, there are so many ways in which you have left fingerprints on my soul. Thank you for understanding me, facilitating my creativity and allowing me to be my past, present, and future self. There have been times in my life that only you have been able to say or do the right thing to buoy me up and give me hope that I have something to offer this big bad world.

Amy Christensen

I have no rhyme or reason to my picks. I decided that I would make my list of 52 + and then review the list and go with my intuition. Last week I could not quit thinking about Amy Christensen Malan, my birthday twin, and the first friend I ever lost.

I met Amy in Jr. High when she moved just down the road from me in a quaint yellow house. I don't remember how we became friends or what drew us together, but I do remember being so excited that we were friends. There was something about her that was intuitive and deep. I sensed that she knew more about life then the rest of us, and that knowledge somehow made her wise; I wanted some of that wisdom. I don't know if she wanted me around or what she thought of me,  but I wanted to be around her. So...I did all those awkward things a gal does when she wants to make a new friend; calling, clinging during school/church, etc., and trying to be super fun and cool. Dating and making a new friend seem to be synonymous for me. 

Early in our friendship we learned we were birthday twins. I believed that we were meant to be friends. This was not the first nor the last time that I experience that feeling of knowing another's soul and feeling connected before you really know one another. I call it a soul-mate, but not in the traditional sense of romance and together foreverness. Sometimes I meet someone and I feel that I NEED to include in my life. I had not met anyone that shared a birthday with me and I still have not met anyone else that I share a birthday with; maybe this was the premise that I felt Amy to be a soul-mate, but more likely that is just how my twelve year old self could process that feeling. Truly though, I have not had a birthday when I don't wonder how my dear old friend is doing.

Once I finally bugged her enough to hang out with me, one of the things that Amy taught me was how to make delish scrambled eggs. I vividly remember being in her room. She asked me if I wanted the best scrambled eggs ever and I said sure. She got out the eggs, a bowl, and a pan, and I asked her what made them the best scrambled eggs. She answered that she couldn't tell me it was a secret. She continued to put the eggs in the bowl and then she went to the refrigerator and took out the milk. I remember this big smile grew across her face. I said is that the secret ingredient, but she just kept smiling; reluctantly she shook her head. They were delightful eggs. I went home and practiced making scrambled eggs until I could make them as delicious as Amy's. This lesson in eggs must have stuck because my nephews always tell me that I make the best eggs. This may seem like a silly anecdote, but learning to make fabulous eggs made me want to make fabulous food which is something I love to do. I love to feed people! And... this is one of experiences in my life that triggered that love.

Another "fingerprint" Amy left on my soul was my love for doing hair, in particular curly hair. Some of my fondest memories of Jr. High are of Amy and I spending hours dressing up, doing crazy hair and makeup, listening to Madonna and taking pictures. I remember Amy sitting on the floor of her bedroom in front of her full length mirror with the biggest Caboodle available twisting her curls around her fingers. When I was doing hair full time a majority of my clientele were women with curly hair. I think I owe my understanding of this type of hair to Amy because I would watch her hair and how it would react. I love her awesome curly hair!
     
I feel like this post should go on, but unfortunately our close friendship did not last. Her's was the first time I experienced losing a friendship and the sadness that comes with that. We all have those friends that later in life you feel sad that they are no longer a part of your life and you wonder how your life would have been enriched by knowing and learning from them. I look on Facebook and Pinterest and Instagram and I think of course we were friends. Who we were all those years ago resonates with who we are today. I do not know specifically what happened, but I'm guessing that our friendship was lost to one of those things that this blog is meant to fight against. Like: jealousy, competition, and/or insecurity among us women. I go back to what Sarah Silverman said in her interview that inspired me. There is NOT just one slot to be filled. This includes friendship, jobs, etc. I am saddened by the friendship I missed out on with Amy. In the end, though, relationships are one of the few things that we can take with us, so my hope is that this doesn't just stop with my thoughts of regret or even of endearment, and that I cultivate a new friendship with Amy where I can be uplifted by the things she learns and the fingerprints that are left on her soul.