Daisy Dog

A week from today will mark one year since my darling Daisy died. She was my soul-mate and friend. Some will find it strange that I call a dog my friend and soul-mate, and some will understand exactly what I am talking about because they have experienced this unique bond between dog and human; "a boy's best friend," phhhhhsh, the saying should be "a girl's best friend." She could not have been better suited for me. I don't know if it was luck, fate, destiny, or something else, but luckily we found each other.

I had lived all by myself for a little over two years. I was happy to be on my own. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, ironically... this also reminded me of how totally alone I was; sometimes the loneliness consumed me swallowing up, even, my time with others. My friend Mindy suggested I get a dog, but I didn't think that would help, so I was not actively looking. Mindy did do something though. (This is her son using Daisy as a pillow, while she willingly lays there wide awake.) She talked about it with her boyfriend, and one day he overheard a co-worker saying he needed to get rid of a 4 month old female black lab because his wife didn't like her. Steve gave me the contact information and I called the fellow. As he started talking about her I knew she was mine and then I asked him her name, he said, "Daisy," and my heart leapt a little. You see... daisies are my favorite flower; a long time ago I even wrote a silly poem, and would when I doodled it was usually a daisy. During that conversation my intuition was screaming at me, "she is yours take her! Take her!" So...I did. I took her home because I knew she was mean to be mine.

When I would come home for lunch or home from work I would regularly find her in this chair or on the back of the couch by the window seemingly waiting for me to come home. When we lived with my parents for a short time my mom said that about 5:00 p.m. each day she would go to the window and wait for me to come home. Always greeting me with a wagging tail and a huge smooch. No matter the day I had, this sweet gesture lifted my spirits. We don't need words or reason to bring happiness in fact I think sometimes those get in the way. I think that's why having a friend just sit with you when you are having a bad day is more helpful then someone trying to solve your problem. John Grogen, the guy who wrote Marley and Me said,“Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day. It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them.” Absolutely! I learned to be a better friend from Daisy's example.

She was the "rock star" of friends during my "dark days." I lost my job and because of that I lost my confidence, my passion, and my self-worth. I was lost! During the time I was unemployed I was made to feel that I could not leave my house unless I was looking for a job, because of some lies and underhanded things my previous employer told the unemployment office. (Long unnecessary story.) Anyway, many mornings the only thing I that got me out of bed was Daisy. She would scratch the door 3 times and if i still didn't get up she would lay her head next to mine so her wet nose would touch my cheek, and if that didn't work she would put her nose under my hand and flip it up. She always knew if I was having a bad day and would just lay on me and comfort me. Sometimes I would feel like staying in bed and somehow she knew that was bad news and would go to the front door and wait; like she wanted to go somewhere, a walk, or a drive. I would give in because her needs were more important then my depression. She loved riding in the car, and once I purchase a doggy harness for to seat-belt her in, I loved taking her. (She was a little out of control without one.) It always made me laugh when I would drive with her because I could help thinking,  

"I'm driving Miss Daisy." Truly though, I do NOT know what would have became of me if I would not of had her to take care of, and her to comfort me. I had some people that were supportive and kind during those "dark days," but Daisy was my lighthouse beaconing me back. I think one of the reasons she was able to do this is because she never said the wrong thing she just loved me and I could feel whatever I wanted when I was with her, and I did not have to explain myself or make excuses why I was in a certain mood. I was always grateful that there was not any judgement. There is a quote by Dean Koontz that I love he says,  "No matter how close we are to another person, few human relationships are as free from strife, disagreement, and frustration as is the relationship you have with a good dog. Few human beings give of themselves to another as a dog gives of itself. I also suspect that we cherish dogs because their unblemished souls make us wish -consciously or unconsciously- that we were as innocent as they are, and make us yearn for a place where innocence is universal and where the meanness, the betrayals, and the cruelties of this world are unknown." Oh how I wish this was the world that surrounded us. It is not. But...maybe if each of us took a page out of a dog's life we could get a little closer to that place.

I miss her still. I miss her thinking she was a lap dog. I miss her thinking she was a cat sitting in the window seal. I miss her smooches. I miss her spotted tongue. I miss her energy. I miss her devotion. I miss her weight when she would sit or lay on me because it made me feel safe. I miss her clever Houdini tricks. I miss her warmth. And, most of all I miss her love! She left an undeniable fingerprint on my soul. I am certainly a different person because she was in my life. Her death broke my heart and still breaks my heart. I felt that she was an extension of me and by default I was all of the wonderful things that she was. I grasp at some of those things now. 

This is to all of you that have loved an animal. There souls touch our lives and change us forever.